Here are the reasons women are drawn to ‘bad boys’


There are women who have a tendency to date bad boys despite the inevitable emotional trauma that comes with such relationships. Several factors fuel such choices.

Psychologist Dr. Chris Hart says it begins with the bad guys’ physical appearance and their personality. “Bad boys are profoundly masculine and very attractive. They will also be sexy, spontaneous, passionate and exciting to be with,” he says. “When they start a conversation with you, they will have fearless eye contact. There will be no rumblings, ‘ums’ or ‘ers’ in their opening lines! Neither will they gush over women or show their inner feelings.” These types of men are extroverted unlike good guys who are most likely to be on the opposite extreme.

Bad guys have a particular taste. Dr. Hart says when a bad guy is on the loose, he will choose women who take alcohol. “This is because a fondness for alcohol or its taste is an indicator that a woman enjoys sex and might be up for it on the first date,” he says. Also, women who are on the bad guy’s radar tend to be modest, submissive and innocent.

Bad guys portray themselves as highly successful and go-getters. This is sometimes true but many times just a front to prop up their image. “Bad guys are not always the most handsome, and so they show off as being successful. Women are attracted to men who appear successful and confident, and this is a trick bad guys deploy very well,” says John Townsend, the author of What Women Want. When confronted with a handsome, good guy working as a medical doctor and a bad guy in jeans and fake designer accessories who works at a fashion stall, it can be easy for an undiscerning woman to choose the latter by virtue of his charm and personality.

While on one hand many women may want to be with good guys who are willing and committed to fidelity, stability, and long-lasting relationships, there are those who fall for the allure of the short-term risk, thrill and desire of being with a bad guy. Psychologist Patrick Musau says this is mainly because ‘being nice’ is not a turn-on in the short term. “Evolutionary, the boldness in a bad guy is seen as a sign of good mating genes, and women in relationships with bad guys assume they can turn these genes into viable, long term partners,” he says.

Dr. Hart says while the bad guy may seem attractive at face value, he is not the best catch for a long-term, serious relationship such as marriage. “Being with a bad boy comes with a lot of thrill due to their charming personalities. But this doesn’t last long before the bad guy settles back to mistreating and abusing you,” he cautions.

If you have dated more than one bad guy, it might be time for you to examine why you are always attracted to the wrong type of guys. “Dating a bad guy is similar to eating chips. After you have one, you’ll want to go on until you eat the whole sack of potatoes,” says Caroline Presno, the author of Profiling Your Date. For example, your attraction to bad boys might be triggered by old wounds inflicted by equally bad men from your past.


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